Conflict is a natural part of any relationship—whether at home, school, or work. It’s impossible for two people to agree on everything all the time. The key is not to fear or avoid conflict, but to handle it constructively. When managed well, conflict can strengthen relationships and foster personal growth. But when mishandled, it can cause harm. Here’s a quick guide on understanding and resolving conflict in a healthy way.
What is Conflict?
Conflict arises when individuals disagree, often due to differing values, needs, or perceptions. While conflict can trigger strong emotions, it’s important to remember that how we respond to it shapes the outcome. Our reactions are often based on past experiences, cultural background, and personal beliefs. Recognising these influences can help us approach conflict more thoughtfully.
Common Causes of Conflict
Most conflicts stem from unmet needs, whether big or small. These needs range from basic desires for respect and safety to deeper needs for connection or intimacy. For instance, consider a simple disagreement between a parent and a child—the child wants to explore, while the parent wants to keep them safe. Similarly, conflict can arise in personal relationships, workplaces, or University when people fail to understand each other’s needs.
How Do You Respond to Conflict?
If you’re nervous about conflict, it might be due to negative past experiences. Some people avoid confrontation, while others may react with anger or withdrawal. Recognising that conflict doesn’t have to be destructive is the first step toward finding solutions. It’s essential to approach conflict with an open mind, ready to listen and resolve the issue.
Steps to Resolve Conflict
- Define the problem: Before jumping to solutions, ensure everyone understands what the issue is. Be clear about the problem without attacking the other person.
- Listen and understand: Allow the other person to share their perspective. Be open and avoid interrupting. It’s crucial to understand where they’re coming from.
- Establish goals: Once the issue is understood, define what each person wants as an outcome. This ensures that everyone is on the same page.
- Find common ground: Even in disagreements, there’s usually something you can agree on. Use this common ground to build a solution.
- Compromise: In most conflicts, no one gets exactly what they want. Work together to find a solution that both parties can accept.
- Follow up: Check in after the resolution to ensure the solution is still working and adjust if necessary.
How to Avoid Conflict
- Solve the problem, don’t focus on being right: Conflict resolution is about finding solutions, not winning arguments. Focus on resolving the issue rather than proving who’s right.
- Pick your battles: Not every disagreement needs to be addressed. Take a step back and assess if it’s worth your energy.
- Admit your mistakes: Taking responsibility for your actions shows maturity and helps to de-escalate conflict.
- Stay in the present: Avoid dragging up past issues during a disagreement. Focusing on the current situation helps to resolve conflict more efficiently.
- Seek help if needed: If conflicts seem frequent or overwhelming, consider talking to a professional. They can help you manage stress or anger more effectively.
Conflict is inevitable, but how we handle it defines the quality of our relationships. By approaching conflict with respect, openness, and a focus on understanding, you can turn disagreements into opportunities for growth. So, next time a conflict arises, take a deep breath, stay calm, and aim for a solution that works for everyone involved.
If you are in need of any support with conflict resolution or mediation. Please reach out to the Advice Centre, who can support you further.